Therapy for Couples & Communication

When couples come to therapy, they're often caught in a painful pattern that neither person knows how to get out of. For example, one person reaches for reassurance, connection, or change, while the other pulls away, shuts down, or becomes defensive. The more one partner reaches, the more the other retreats, and the cycle continues. Before long, you're having the same argument again and again, both feeling hurt, misunderstood, and alone.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples slow this cycle down and understand what is really happening underneath the conflict. Instead of focusing only on who is right or what needs to change, we look at the deeper feelings and needs that can be difficult to express: “I need to know you're there for me,” “I'm afraid I'm not enough for you,” or “I want to feel close to you, but I don't know how.” These deeper emotions and attachment needs often drive the visible conflict, even when they remain hidden beneath criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, or anger. By bringing them into the open, we can begin to transform the cycle that keeps pulling you apart. 

Over time, couples can learn to turn toward one another instead of against each other, communicate more openly, repair after conflict, feel safer being vulnerable, give and receive love in ways that truly land, and experience greater trust, intimacy, affection, playfulness, and partnership. 

My Couples Therapy Approach